So we all know that plastic bags are wasteful and extremely Earth-unfriendly. That's why all of our supermarkets are now selling $.99 cloth shopping bags for us to use and re-use. We have about 10 or so of them-- totally worth every penny!
I have even gotten into the habit of putting them in the car each time I go grocery shopping. Right along with each child going into the carseat, my cloth shopping bags go into my car. I mean, I made the effort to buy them. I got myself into the habit of bringing them with me. They are the first thing out of my cart at the register, flung way in front of the food so as not to be missed or forgotten. So can someone please tell me why I still come home with plastic shopping bags?
It's those damn cashiers and baggers. I don't know if my cloth bags have "I wish I had a plastic friend" written on them somewhere or what, but unless I am vigilant, the baggers manage to shove at least 3 evil plastic bags into my cloth ones. Oh, they have their excuses. Like my eggs or my meat needs to be in a plastic bag inside my cloth bag. Or they can't fit everything in them. That's bull.
The day before yesterday I went grocery shopping, and I was itching for a fight. I watched that bagger like a proverbial hawk, and, sure enough, she handed me a half-filled cloth bag to put in my cart. I accepted it graciously, then shoved three more things in it to make my point.
But that wasn't hint enough. She "filled" my five cloth bags and then, with obvious glee, swept open a plastic one on her little carousel, ready to fill it with what was left of my groceries. I was fuming. I said to her rather curtly, "I don't want ANY plastic bags." The couple behind me exchanged glances.
Well, come on, people. How many brain cells does it take to form the conclusion that a person bringing her own bags to the grocery store does not want more plastic???
Anyone else have this problem, or is it just me?
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Being a Work At Home Mom
I think I may have strayed from the path somewhere. All I have ever wanted was to be a mom, and now I am. I have two fantastic little girls and the good fortune to be able to stay home with them full-time. So why do I find myself always trying to get away from them?
It started with the election. Every morning I would put the TV on for them and catch a few more winks on the couch. Then I would get my coffee and sit at the computer looking at the latest election news. Now that that’s over, the habit has stuck. I sit at my computer for at least an hour every morning with my coffee and breakfast, hoping the kids will leave me alone so I can just wake up.
Now we all have the flu. It’s awful. All I want to do is lay on the couch. And, of course, have my coffee and computer time in the morning. But today my oldest, who sounds like someone replaced her lungs with cotton candy, had a morning meltdown. Crying over nothing. Whining and crying and driving me nuts. Then there’s the baby asking to nurse over and over again, even when I’ve already nursed her. Guys, please! I just want to drink my coffee and get on the computer for crying out loud.
And then I realized it. My kid is sick. This is prime mothering time. So why, instead of comforting and nurturing her, am I pushing her away to get some “me” time? I felt terrible. I made her a hot lemon and honey drink and cuddled in bed with her to read her a story. What a transformation! Even though she had been whining that she didn’t want to be in her bed, she revelled in my attention. The baby did pull me away several times, but K did not even complain. The little of myself that I was able to give her was enough.
My husband has been dropping hints, actually. Since I started writing for this healthcare company in Arizona, a lot of my so-called “free” time is spent writing articles. He sees me trying to squeeze work time in whenever the kids are eating/watching TV/resting/napping. Of course it doesn’t work because there are so many interruptions, which frustrates me. The kids can sense my annoyance. DH is urging me to schedule my work time when my parents or he can watch the kids. It’s good advice. Except there always seems to be a reason why my “work” time gets the shaft: my parents are out of town this week, and again that week, we’re all sick, etc. etc.
Of course, that’s where I have to remind myself of my priorities. My freelance writing career is a luxury right now, and if I can’t manage it while still taking care of my family’s needs, then I shouldn’t be doing it. It’s going to take some organization (uggh!) and discipline (double uggh!) on my part. But I have a uniquely wonderful opportunity to fulfill myself with a part-time career while still being a stay-at-home-mom. I’d be a fool to let that get away because of poor time management.
It started with the election. Every morning I would put the TV on for them and catch a few more winks on the couch. Then I would get my coffee and sit at the computer looking at the latest election news. Now that that’s over, the habit has stuck. I sit at my computer for at least an hour every morning with my coffee and breakfast, hoping the kids will leave me alone so I can just wake up.
Now we all have the flu. It’s awful. All I want to do is lay on the couch. And, of course, have my coffee and computer time in the morning. But today my oldest, who sounds like someone replaced her lungs with cotton candy, had a morning meltdown. Crying over nothing. Whining and crying and driving me nuts. Then there’s the baby asking to nurse over and over again, even when I’ve already nursed her. Guys, please! I just want to drink my coffee and get on the computer for crying out loud.
And then I realized it. My kid is sick. This is prime mothering time. So why, instead of comforting and nurturing her, am I pushing her away to get some “me” time? I felt terrible. I made her a hot lemon and honey drink and cuddled in bed with her to read her a story. What a transformation! Even though she had been whining that she didn’t want to be in her bed, she revelled in my attention. The baby did pull me away several times, but K did not even complain. The little of myself that I was able to give her was enough.
My husband has been dropping hints, actually. Since I started writing for this healthcare company in Arizona, a lot of my so-called “free” time is spent writing articles. He sees me trying to squeeze work time in whenever the kids are eating/watching TV/resting/napping. Of course it doesn’t work because there are so many interruptions, which frustrates me. The kids can sense my annoyance. DH is urging me to schedule my work time when my parents or he can watch the kids. It’s good advice. Except there always seems to be a reason why my “work” time gets the shaft: my parents are out of town this week, and again that week, we’re all sick, etc. etc.
Of course, that’s where I have to remind myself of my priorities. My freelance writing career is a luxury right now, and if I can’t manage it while still taking care of my family’s needs, then I shouldn’t be doing it. It’s going to take some organization (uggh!) and discipline (double uggh!) on my part. But I have a uniquely wonderful opportunity to fulfill myself with a part-time career while still being a stay-at-home-mom. I’d be a fool to let that get away because of poor time management.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Threats Against Obama
I just read that Obama is getting more threats against him than any other President-elect. On the one hand, it's surprising because he was elected with such an overwhelming majority, but on the other hand it's not. He is half-black, and a lot of the people who didn't vote for him are the kind of people who tend to stockpile weapons . . .
Of course, I thought by now, most of us whites were over the whole race thing. I'm an educated 35-year-old woman, and the fact that the new President is African-American had absolutely no bearing on my decision to vote for Obama, as I imagine it didn't for a lot of others like me. Even for those who might have reservations about voting for a black man (although I would say to them what one black comedian did-- "he's only half black; vote for the white half!"), decided to vote for him anyway. What I just don't get is-- what is the big deal for whites voting for a black man? If you haven't noticed, many, many of the faces we see on TV, in government, in the movies, at work, at school, at church-- they aren't totally white faces. In fact, you can't even tell from looking at someone what their race is anymore. Heck, I babysit a little girl whose dad is half-black and you would never know it looking at her blue eyes and fair skin. My point: racism is as outdated as teased hair and roller skates.
What are these white Supremecist types afraid of? Don't they realize that they are the poor and middle class that Obama wants to help? The rich Republicans they have been voting for have not had their best interests in mind. To them, the skinheads and family are just another bunch of rabble who can wait (forever) for trickle down economics to reach them. Time to switch sides, guys. Luckily, according to the government, the people making these kinds of threats against Obama are not capable of carrying them out. For everyone's sake, I hope they're right. There will be a special place in Hell for anyone who assassinates this man, who is finally going to rescue America from itself.
Of course, I thought by now, most of us whites were over the whole race thing. I'm an educated 35-year-old woman, and the fact that the new President is African-American had absolutely no bearing on my decision to vote for Obama, as I imagine it didn't for a lot of others like me. Even for those who might have reservations about voting for a black man (although I would say to them what one black comedian did-- "he's only half black; vote for the white half!"), decided to vote for him anyway. What I just don't get is-- what is the big deal for whites voting for a black man? If you haven't noticed, many, many of the faces we see on TV, in government, in the movies, at work, at school, at church-- they aren't totally white faces. In fact, you can't even tell from looking at someone what their race is anymore. Heck, I babysit a little girl whose dad is half-black and you would never know it looking at her blue eyes and fair skin. My point: racism is as outdated as teased hair and roller skates.
What are these white Supremecist types afraid of? Don't they realize that they are the poor and middle class that Obama wants to help? The rich Republicans they have been voting for have not had their best interests in mind. To them, the skinheads and family are just another bunch of rabble who can wait (forever) for trickle down economics to reach them. Time to switch sides, guys. Luckily, according to the government, the people making these kinds of threats against Obama are not capable of carrying them out. For everyone's sake, I hope they're right. There will be a special place in Hell for anyone who assassinates this man, who is finally going to rescue America from itself.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
seeing yourself in your kids
It's so funny how the things you love and hate about yourself are reflected in your kids.
My 20-month-old is like a little me. She's not even 2, and her favorite book is "The Lorax" (which was my favorite book as a kid). She loves the truffula trees and gives them hugs when they are getting chopped down. Yes, folks, my kids is a tree-hugger. I'm so proud.
She's also such a talker. Since my first didn't start talking till 2 1/2, it's astounding to hear the things that come out of this kid's mouth. Lately, when you tell her something she doesn't want to hear (like "no"), she says in a hurt voice, "don't say that!" or in a belligerent voice, "don't talk to me!" How can I not laugh? This kid is going to run the world. Or at least take down a Thneed factory.
My older daugther is very academic (I was as well). She can spell her name and "Dora" as well as a few other words, but she is stubborn as heck (just like guess-who). I am trying to teach her how to write her name, but she is not interested. She does not want to be taught anything new, she just wants to show off the various things she has already mastered. What kind of a way to live is that?
I think she might be a little bit of a perfectionist-- only wanting to do things she's successful at. That's not so much me, but I do remember HATING to be forced into doing things that did not come naturally. For example, I remember sitting at the table in a booster seat, pouting because my parents wanted me to say "may I be excused" before leaving the table. I just didn't like the sound of it. So proper and contrived. I refused to say it, so I sat and sat.
In the same way, Kira does not like to be told what to do. And she does not like to fail. So if she tries to write her name and can't do it on the first try, she'd rather not do it at all. I'm not so bad as that, but I must admit, if there are things that I really suck at, rather than practice, practice, practice to improve, I'm more likely to go do something I am good at-- like Facebook Scramble or lefthanded cartwheels or checking my email.
While it's gratifying to see your kids taking after you, it's also a bit of a downer because you want your kids to do better than you. If they suffer from your same hang-ups, they may disappoint themselves, the way we have probably disappointed ourselves.
My 20-month-old is like a little me. She's not even 2, and her favorite book is "The Lorax" (which was my favorite book as a kid). She loves the truffula trees and gives them hugs when they are getting chopped down. Yes, folks, my kids is a tree-hugger. I'm so proud.
She's also such a talker. Since my first didn't start talking till 2 1/2, it's astounding to hear the things that come out of this kid's mouth. Lately, when you tell her something she doesn't want to hear (like "no"), she says in a hurt voice, "don't say that!" or in a belligerent voice, "don't talk to me!" How can I not laugh? This kid is going to run the world. Or at least take down a Thneed factory.
My older daugther is very academic (I was as well). She can spell her name and "Dora" as well as a few other words, but she is stubborn as heck (just like guess-who). I am trying to teach her how to write her name, but she is not interested. She does not want to be taught anything new, she just wants to show off the various things she has already mastered. What kind of a way to live is that?
I think she might be a little bit of a perfectionist-- only wanting to do things she's successful at. That's not so much me, but I do remember HATING to be forced into doing things that did not come naturally. For example, I remember sitting at the table in a booster seat, pouting because my parents wanted me to say "may I be excused" before leaving the table. I just didn't like the sound of it. So proper and contrived. I refused to say it, so I sat and sat.
In the same way, Kira does not like to be told what to do. And she does not like to fail. So if she tries to write her name and can't do it on the first try, she'd rather not do it at all. I'm not so bad as that, but I must admit, if there are things that I really suck at, rather than practice, practice, practice to improve, I'm more likely to go do something I am good at-- like Facebook Scramble or lefthanded cartwheels or checking my email.
While it's gratifying to see your kids taking after you, it's also a bit of a downer because you want your kids to do better than you. If they suffer from your same hang-ups, they may disappoint themselves, the way we have probably disappointed ourselves.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Early Voting Starts in Florida
Today is the official first day of early voting in my battleground state of Florida. If the kids let me (and I remember my voter registration card), I'm going downtown to vote today.
You all know I'm an Obama supporter, but I just watched a PBS documentary on both candidates (totally objective, just the facts, PBS-style), and I have to admit I've gained a lot of respect for John McCain as well. The guy was a POW in Vietnam for 9 years, and he's not the Bush-lover he seems to be. In fact, I suspect that he only voted with Bush so many times in the past 4 years because he was trying to save his political career. At one point (he denies it) he almost went Democrat.
Of course, for me, Obama is still da man. Here's a smart, steady guy who has been an activist from Day One. In fact, Obama went into politics because he couldn't help people enough with his community organizing activities. Can you believe that? Obama is actually running for president because he want to help people! Has our political system ever seen the like since the founding days?
Anyway, I'm pulling hard for Obama, but I am more comforted that if John McCain does get in, he might actually try to do some good things, too. Of course, I'll never vote for John McCain because he is too oil-loving and refuses to make any promises to move away from oil or to do anything about health care (except throw money at us to shut us up). I suspect this is not because he doesn't recognize a problem, but because these folks are funding his campaign, or there are old promises to be maintained, or whatever. That's irrelevant to me. If you can't or won't get us off oil and stand up to the health insurance companies, then you shouldn't be President. Period.
You all know I'm an Obama supporter, but I just watched a PBS documentary on both candidates (totally objective, just the facts, PBS-style), and I have to admit I've gained a lot of respect for John McCain as well. The guy was a POW in Vietnam for 9 years, and he's not the Bush-lover he seems to be. In fact, I suspect that he only voted with Bush so many times in the past 4 years because he was trying to save his political career. At one point (he denies it) he almost went Democrat.
Of course, for me, Obama is still da man. Here's a smart, steady guy who has been an activist from Day One. In fact, Obama went into politics because he couldn't help people enough with his community organizing activities. Can you believe that? Obama is actually running for president because he want to help people! Has our political system ever seen the like since the founding days?
Anyway, I'm pulling hard for Obama, but I am more comforted that if John McCain does get in, he might actually try to do some good things, too. Of course, I'll never vote for John McCain because he is too oil-loving and refuses to make any promises to move away from oil or to do anything about health care (except throw money at us to shut us up). I suspect this is not because he doesn't recognize a problem, but because these folks are funding his campaign, or there are old promises to be maintained, or whatever. That's irrelevant to me. If you can't or won't get us off oil and stand up to the health insurance companies, then you shouldn't be President. Period.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
$1 Pregnancy Tests
So I took a pregnancy test yesterday. It's not that I particularly thought that I was pregnant. It's just that I've only had 2 periods in the last, oh, 4 years due to pregnancy and nursing on domperidone (drug to boost milk supply). Plus, I have read the high school brochures about some of the (ahem) less reliable birth control techniques, which we currently employ.
Honestly, I'm lazy about tracking periods anymore. I think my last one was mid-September? And I haven't gotten the obnoxious pre-period zit yet. So it had me... concerned.
I wouldn't have gone out and spent $30 on a pack of First Responses, but someone a long time ago turned me on to the $1 pregnancy tests at the dollar store. It's a simple chemical reaction, so why not? I've had one stored away for several months now, and I pulled it out and peed on it.
Negative.
I was relieved. Very relieved. We're still not sure there's going to be a #3 ever, and even less that it will actually come out of my body (I'd rather adopt, myself).
So why did I have a very small, almost impercebtible sense of disappointment?
Do we as women mourn each of those negative pregnancy tests, even if we aren't trying to get pregnant? Why do we do it?
Is it the loss of an idea? A great adventure that we could have embarked upon, but never packed our bag? Did we subconsciously bond with this potential child, even when he was just a proverbial sparkle in the eye? Maybe it's just a little nostalgia going on-- a little selective memory. Running a hand over a watermelon belly, feeling those sharp little kicks from the inside, dressing your newborn in ridiculously tiny clothes, putting her to your breast...
This must be how the human race survives. Of course, the human race survived long before pregnancy tests. Hmm. I think I'll make myself a salami sandwich with feta cheese and a glass of wine for lunch-- you know, all those things you're not allowed to have when you're pregnant-- while I contemplate that one.
Honestly, I'm lazy about tracking periods anymore. I think my last one was mid-September? And I haven't gotten the obnoxious pre-period zit yet. So it had me... concerned.
I wouldn't have gone out and spent $30 on a pack of First Responses, but someone a long time ago turned me on to the $1 pregnancy tests at the dollar store. It's a simple chemical reaction, so why not? I've had one stored away for several months now, and I pulled it out and peed on it.
Negative.
I was relieved. Very relieved. We're still not sure there's going to be a #3 ever, and even less that it will actually come out of my body (I'd rather adopt, myself).
So why did I have a very small, almost impercebtible sense of disappointment?
Do we as women mourn each of those negative pregnancy tests, even if we aren't trying to get pregnant? Why do we do it?
Is it the loss of an idea? A great adventure that we could have embarked upon, but never packed our bag? Did we subconsciously bond with this potential child, even when he was just a proverbial sparkle in the eye? Maybe it's just a little nostalgia going on-- a little selective memory. Running a hand over a watermelon belly, feeling those sharp little kicks from the inside, dressing your newborn in ridiculously tiny clothes, putting her to your breast...
This must be how the human race survives. Of course, the human race survived long before pregnancy tests. Hmm. I think I'll make myself a salami sandwich with feta cheese and a glass of wine for lunch-- you know, all those things you're not allowed to have when you're pregnant-- while I contemplate that one.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Your Friend That You Hate
I have a friend whose parenting never ceases to amaze me. I mean, she seems pretty normal when it comes to her 3 year old, and even comes up with great craft ideas and creative ways to get him to comply (I'm more the "resistance is futile, just do what I say already" type).
But her parenting of her infant is so far on the other end of the spectrum to what I believe in. Let me give you an example: just yesterday she sends me an invitation to a Kodak Gallery album. In it is a picture of her 6 month old baby daughter eating chunks of pancake! The caption proudly read that B was eating pancake for the first time.
I'm sorry, but anyone who has read a parenting book in the last 10 years or so knows that you're only supposed to be starting solids at 6 months, and babies that age are certainly not ready for pieces of pancake bigger than I give my 19 month old.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm certainly not the perfect parent, and I don't expect others to be. I started solids at 5 months, yell at my 3 year old sometimes, and put on the TV more than an hour a day most days (head hanging in shame). But when I look at people like my friend who formula-fed from the get-go (something I have NO tolerance for), said of her son when he was an infant, "I don't want him to get attached to me," and now the pancake thing... I guess it's hard to see the common ground of friendship.
The good thing is, she does love her kids lots; I can see it. I know it. And when the little one gets to be 2 or 3, there probably won't be too many more things for me choke myself over in horror.
Truth is, when your world has been redefined by children, these kinds of parenting clashes can really take a toll on friendships. Case in point: someone I know with a friend who ended up with a very warped parenting philosophy (and I'm not just saying this. This person works for children's services and denies newborn adoptions to couples if the mother wants to try to lactate and breastfeed the baby.) The husband refers to the wife's friend as, "Your friend that you hate."
Well, I love my friend dearly, and I'm determined to shake my head silently and vent here rather than destroy our friendship over parenting disagreements. It's not easy, though. I mean, when you work so hard to do the right thing for your kids, when your friend doesn't seem to care doesn't it diminish all your efforts?
But her parenting of her infant is so far on the other end of the spectrum to what I believe in. Let me give you an example: just yesterday she sends me an invitation to a Kodak Gallery album. In it is a picture of her 6 month old baby daughter eating chunks of pancake! The caption proudly read that B was eating pancake for the first time.
I'm sorry, but anyone who has read a parenting book in the last 10 years or so knows that you're only supposed to be starting solids at 6 months, and babies that age are certainly not ready for pieces of pancake bigger than I give my 19 month old.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm certainly not the perfect parent, and I don't expect others to be. I started solids at 5 months, yell at my 3 year old sometimes, and put on the TV more than an hour a day most days (head hanging in shame). But when I look at people like my friend who formula-fed from the get-go (something I have NO tolerance for), said of her son when he was an infant, "I don't want him to get attached to me," and now the pancake thing... I guess it's hard to see the common ground of friendship.
The good thing is, she does love her kids lots; I can see it. I know it. And when the little one gets to be 2 or 3, there probably won't be too many more things for me choke myself over in horror.
Truth is, when your world has been redefined by children, these kinds of parenting clashes can really take a toll on friendships. Case in point: someone I know with a friend who ended up with a very warped parenting philosophy (and I'm not just saying this. This person works for children's services and denies newborn adoptions to couples if the mother wants to try to lactate and breastfeed the baby.) The husband refers to the wife's friend as, "Your friend that you hate."
Well, I love my friend dearly, and I'm determined to shake my head silently and vent here rather than destroy our friendship over parenting disagreements. It's not easy, though. I mean, when you work so hard to do the right thing for your kids, when your friend doesn't seem to care doesn't it diminish all your efforts?
Monday, October 6, 2008
Too Close to Home
So for those of you who don't know, we've moved one street away from my parents. This is good in a lot of ways, especially since they can have a real active role in the girls' lives plus give me a break.
However, there are several downsides, only one of which I will complain about today: we have no privacy!!!
Back when I lived 2000 miles away from my mother, I didn't have to worry about her opinion on every single thing I did. Now, if I have an unaccounted-for block of time in my schedule, she politely asks about it. But I don't want to tell her everything, and screaming "It's none of your business!" isn't really my style.
For example, and I feel like a real coward for admitting this, but I got involved with the local Democratic Party to support the Barack Obama campaign. I thought to myself, if McCain gets in and I didn't do ANYTHING to stop it (aside from vote, of course), I would kick myself forever and ever. So I showed up at a meeting, volunteered to make some phone calls and even hosted a voter registration table.
My parents are party Republicans, and annoyingly vocal about it. In fact, we had to designate politics as a no-go topic in the family just to keep everything from escalating into a real problem. So, I did my volunteering without my parents' knowledge.
It's weak and cowardly, I know, but I'm not going to change my parents' mind any more than they are going to change mine, so talk is wasted. Plus, I really don't want our family torn apart by differing ideologies.
I always admired activists and guerrilleros for their ability to stand up against "the man". I want to be like that, but when "the man" is my mom and dad, and after all they've done for us, I just can't bring myself to openly flaunt my protests in their faces.
As my husband puts it, my family lacks the ability to have "healthy conflict". Everything is personal with my dad. If you disagree with him, then you don't respect him. It's an attack against him. I think my mom mostly Republican because they are pro-life. BTW, I am pro-life, too (in a complicated, not 100% way), but that is NOT the biggest problem facing our country right now. Besides, we've had a Republican in office for 8 years now and women are still having abortions...
Thank goodness I married a man with similar views to mine. I guess all we can do is act on what we think is right and teach our children to do the same. I'd love to hear some other struggles of grown children with their parents. I know I'm not alone.
However, there are several downsides, only one of which I will complain about today: we have no privacy!!!
Back when I lived 2000 miles away from my mother, I didn't have to worry about her opinion on every single thing I did. Now, if I have an unaccounted-for block of time in my schedule, she politely asks about it. But I don't want to tell her everything, and screaming "It's none of your business!" isn't really my style.
For example, and I feel like a real coward for admitting this, but I got involved with the local Democratic Party to support the Barack Obama campaign. I thought to myself, if McCain gets in and I didn't do ANYTHING to stop it (aside from vote, of course), I would kick myself forever and ever. So I showed up at a meeting, volunteered to make some phone calls and even hosted a voter registration table.
My parents are party Republicans, and annoyingly vocal about it. In fact, we had to designate politics as a no-go topic in the family just to keep everything from escalating into a real problem. So, I did my volunteering without my parents' knowledge.
It's weak and cowardly, I know, but I'm not going to change my parents' mind any more than they are going to change mine, so talk is wasted. Plus, I really don't want our family torn apart by differing ideologies.
I always admired activists and guerrilleros for their ability to stand up against "the man". I want to be like that, but when "the man" is my mom and dad, and after all they've done for us, I just can't bring myself to openly flaunt my protests in their faces.
As my husband puts it, my family lacks the ability to have "healthy conflict". Everything is personal with my dad. If you disagree with him, then you don't respect him. It's an attack against him. I think my mom mostly Republican because they are pro-life. BTW, I am pro-life, too (in a complicated, not 100% way), but that is NOT the biggest problem facing our country right now. Besides, we've had a Republican in office for 8 years now and women are still having abortions...
Thank goodness I married a man with similar views to mine. I guess all we can do is act on what we think is right and teach our children to do the same. I'd love to hear some other struggles of grown children with their parents. I know I'm not alone.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Kira is Sick and I'm a Basketcase
Yesterday is the sickest one of my kids has ever been. Kira woke up fine, but by 9:30 was lying on the couch listless and not interested in breakfast. Then she threw up her apple juice and I knew something was very wrong.
Her fever came on suddenly and got up to 103 with the medication taking over an hour to have an effect. We rushed her to the pediatrician's office where the American health care system proceeded to fail us for the first time (please, Obama save us!). Our insurance did not cover the next day strep test, only the 3 day strep test. Who is going to wait 3 days to find out if their kid has strep?
We started giving her the antibiotic anyway- one she hasn't had before. And since my dh is allergic to all known antibiotics, it's always a scary thing to give the kids a new drug. I went as far as the give her the first dose in the doctor's office, just in case. (if you haven't guessed, I'm a basketcase about this stuff).
I don't do any medical very well, especially when it has to do with me or one of my kids. Honestly, if I have a splinter in my finger, my whole day is ruined until I get it out. I do not exaggerate. I thought to myself as I held my 104.5 degree, shivering child in a tub of lukewarm water, listening to her beg for a blanket to warm up, how do the parents of severely ill children do it?
I have a new respect for these parents who keep the proverbial stiff upper lip while their kid is strapped down for an MRI or gets her body destroyed by chemo or radiation. I was losing in front of my kid when she only had a high fever.
Thankfully, the night was better than the evening. Her temperature actually went down to normal for about 5 hrs (yes, my husband and I checked her every hour). And when it started back up again, it didn't go over 102. Today she's a little warm (about 100), but playing, eating, drinking, joking around.
So it seems she's out of the woods. She hasn't even needed her next dose of Advil. I guess I can put a hold on the panic for now. Maybe my neck muscles will unravel, maybe I can eat today, maybe the headache from clenching my teeth will subside. Unless, of course, the baby gets it. I keep nursing her like a fiend, willing my milk to ward off the illness.
I don't want my baby to get this. I don't want her to suffer, and she doesn't take medicine well. Selfishly, I also don't want to go through again what I went through yesterday. And God forbid I should be tested with something worse. I don't want to have to find out whether or not I could handle it.
Her fever came on suddenly and got up to 103 with the medication taking over an hour to have an effect. We rushed her to the pediatrician's office where the American health care system proceeded to fail us for the first time (please, Obama save us!). Our insurance did not cover the next day strep test, only the 3 day strep test. Who is going to wait 3 days to find out if their kid has strep?
We started giving her the antibiotic anyway- one she hasn't had before. And since my dh is allergic to all known antibiotics, it's always a scary thing to give the kids a new drug. I went as far as the give her the first dose in the doctor's office, just in case. (if you haven't guessed, I'm a basketcase about this stuff).
I don't do any medical very well, especially when it has to do with me or one of my kids. Honestly, if I have a splinter in my finger, my whole day is ruined until I get it out. I do not exaggerate. I thought to myself as I held my 104.5 degree, shivering child in a tub of lukewarm water, listening to her beg for a blanket to warm up, how do the parents of severely ill children do it?
I have a new respect for these parents who keep the proverbial stiff upper lip while their kid is strapped down for an MRI or gets her body destroyed by chemo or radiation. I was losing in front of my kid when she only had a high fever.
Thankfully, the night was better than the evening. Her temperature actually went down to normal for about 5 hrs (yes, my husband and I checked her every hour). And when it started back up again, it didn't go over 102. Today she's a little warm (about 100), but playing, eating, drinking, joking around.
So it seems she's out of the woods. She hasn't even needed her next dose of Advil. I guess I can put a hold on the panic for now. Maybe my neck muscles will unravel, maybe I can eat today, maybe the headache from clenching my teeth will subside. Unless, of course, the baby gets it. I keep nursing her like a fiend, willing my milk to ward off the illness.
I don't want my baby to get this. I don't want her to suffer, and she doesn't take medicine well. Selfishly, I also don't want to go through again what I went through yesterday. And God forbid I should be tested with something worse. I don't want to have to find out whether or not I could handle it.
Monday, September 29, 2008
I'm the Mommy
So we just got back from Disney, and let me tell you, it was PERFECT. It was the most perfect, perfect Disney trip (aside from spending too much money on food, but that's another post). The sky was clear and blue, not a drop of rain, the kids had a great time, we had a great time. Our family got lots of extra attention because the girls had "It's my first time" buttons on and we had "It's our anniversary" buttons on. Our good friends Amy and Thomas and their kids came with us, and since they are seasonal passholders, they knew all the tricks. We got to do almost everything.
Now, for my 3 year old, Kira, we weren't sure how she was going to do on all the rides, but as both Mark and I are thrill-seekers, we hoped that she would follow suit. One complication is that there is a 40 inch height requirement for Splash Mountain (the big flume with the huge drop) and Thunder Mountain Railroad (roller coaster). Kira is 39 3/4 inches tall with her Crocs on.
Even though Kira ate voraciously the week before in an attempt to close the 1/4 inch gap for Splash Mountain, she didn't quite pull it off. But we had a backup plan-- The Sandals. Amy's daughter Emily had sandals with a 1/2 in. thick platform sole.
Confident that we wouldn't need them, we headed to the Splash Mountain entrance where Kira was immediately ushered to the measuring station. I could see right away that she didn't meet the requirement. We were turned away.
Enter: The Sandals. I knew the staff member was going to recognize Kira from oh, 2 minutes before, but I didn't care. My kid was getting on that ride. Now I understand that some parents may feel differently for safety reasons and all that... but not me. Trust me, I planned on having a real good hold on her when we went over that waterfall, no matter how many inches she measured.
I must admit, there was a little embarrassment involved when the girl saw us come up the second time and said confusedly, "oh, she's too short." I said, "Just measure her again." Suddenly Kira was tall enough. "Oh," said the girl, "You changed her shoes. Well, shoes don't count."
That's right, I thought as we breezed past into the Fastpass line. I'm the mommy and if I say my kid can ride, my kid can ride. My child has been looking forward to this for weeks, and anyway, if I had to pay full price for her, she should be able to ride all the good stuff. If she can't go on Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain, I should get at least another $40 off my ticket!
Well, in case you were wondering, the 1/4 deficit did not make Kira suddenly fly out of the ride or anything of that nature. (In fact, she was holding on to me so tightly that she wouldn't have fallen out if I had thrown her.) She loved the ride and asked to go again.
Score: Ravenous Thrill-seekers: 1, Establishment: 0 Yeah!!!
Oh, here's my random Disney tip for today: If you've got a baby and/or toddler, bring your sling and your stroller. If your baby is napping on you in the sling, you can enjoy some of the indoor, air-conditioned shows where strollers aren't allowed, and your older kids don't have to wait around for the baby to wake up before doing something fun.
Now, for my 3 year old, Kira, we weren't sure how she was going to do on all the rides, but as both Mark and I are thrill-seekers, we hoped that she would follow suit. One complication is that there is a 40 inch height requirement for Splash Mountain (the big flume with the huge drop) and Thunder Mountain Railroad (roller coaster). Kira is 39 3/4 inches tall with her Crocs on.
Even though Kira ate voraciously the week before in an attempt to close the 1/4 inch gap for Splash Mountain, she didn't quite pull it off. But we had a backup plan-- The Sandals. Amy's daughter Emily had sandals with a 1/2 in. thick platform sole.
Confident that we wouldn't need them, we headed to the Splash Mountain entrance where Kira was immediately ushered to the measuring station. I could see right away that she didn't meet the requirement. We were turned away.
Enter: The Sandals. I knew the staff member was going to recognize Kira from oh, 2 minutes before, but I didn't care. My kid was getting on that ride. Now I understand that some parents may feel differently for safety reasons and all that... but not me. Trust me, I planned on having a real good hold on her when we went over that waterfall, no matter how many inches she measured.
I must admit, there was a little embarrassment involved when the girl saw us come up the second time and said confusedly, "oh, she's too short." I said, "Just measure her again." Suddenly Kira was tall enough. "Oh," said the girl, "You changed her shoes. Well, shoes don't count."
That's right, I thought as we breezed past into the Fastpass line. I'm the mommy and if I say my kid can ride, my kid can ride. My child has been looking forward to this for weeks, and anyway, if I had to pay full price for her, she should be able to ride all the good stuff. If she can't go on Thunder Mountain and Splash Mountain, I should get at least another $40 off my ticket!
Well, in case you were wondering, the 1/4 deficit did not make Kira suddenly fly out of the ride or anything of that nature. (In fact, she was holding on to me so tightly that she wouldn't have fallen out if I had thrown her.) She loved the ride and asked to go again.
Score: Ravenous Thrill-seekers: 1, Establishment: 0 Yeah!!!
Oh, here's my random Disney tip for today: If you've got a baby and/or toddler, bring your sling and your stroller. If your baby is napping on you in the sling, you can enjoy some of the indoor, air-conditioned shows where strollers aren't allowed, and your older kids don't have to wait around for the baby to wake up before doing something fun.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Obama's in Florida
Okay, first of all, I don't read the news, don't watch the news, and only read political emails when they are about Sarah Palin looking dumb. So I am not prepared to spout off all the great reasons to vote for Obama. All I can say is this: I think he's the real deal. I really do. Anybody who doesn't take campaign contributions from lobbyists in his campaign to become the leader of the known world (insert booming orchestra music) is somebody I feel I can trust.
My dh just told me that Obama is down here because the poll predictions show that it's all down to Florida again. Oh no. Please no. Don't let our state full of bitter old men set in their ways, thinking that being a good Christian means killing Iraqis, stopping gay marriage and holding on as tight as you can to your money so God forbid it doesn't go to any social programs or education or health care be the deciding factor of this election.
I donated $50 to Obama's campaign and I keep getting emails to donate more. His campaign is totally funded by grass-roots efforts and folks like you and me. I wish I could fund the whole thing, but I can't so I really encourage everyone out there to give a little something to the cause. Who knows, your $25 or $40 or $50 might buy us affordable healthcare, freedom from foreign oil, and a cleaner planet. Heck, it might just make the world a better place. I'm actually convinced that it will.
Even the Canadians should give! You have to live with the repercussions of this government, too. If you get in a car accident on the way down to Disney, you don't want to go bankrupt paying the medical bills, do you? If our economy is strong, yours usually follows suit. We need to band together to get this guy in office. A greener America benefits everyone.
When our leader isn't being paid off by big business, the oil companies, and the health insurance moguls, we as Americans actually have a chance of making something positive happen. I'm sure Obama's not perfect, but he's pretty darn good. Not chicken marsala, but a big Stouffers macaroni and cheese. McCain's just a handful of stale crackers.
My dh just told me that Obama is down here because the poll predictions show that it's all down to Florida again. Oh no. Please no. Don't let our state full of bitter old men set in their ways, thinking that being a good Christian means killing Iraqis, stopping gay marriage and holding on as tight as you can to your money so God forbid it doesn't go to any social programs or education or health care be the deciding factor of this election.
I donated $50 to Obama's campaign and I keep getting emails to donate more. His campaign is totally funded by grass-roots efforts and folks like you and me. I wish I could fund the whole thing, but I can't so I really encourage everyone out there to give a little something to the cause. Who knows, your $25 or $40 or $50 might buy us affordable healthcare, freedom from foreign oil, and a cleaner planet. Heck, it might just make the world a better place. I'm actually convinced that it will.
Even the Canadians should give! You have to live with the repercussions of this government, too. If you get in a car accident on the way down to Disney, you don't want to go bankrupt paying the medical bills, do you? If our economy is strong, yours usually follows suit. We need to band together to get this guy in office. A greener America benefits everyone.
When our leader isn't being paid off by big business, the oil companies, and the health insurance moguls, we as Americans actually have a chance of making something positive happen. I'm sure Obama's not perfect, but he's pretty darn good. Not chicken marsala, but a big Stouffers macaroni and cheese. McCain's just a handful of stale crackers.
Monday, September 22, 2008
I'm So Ashamed
So at church yesterday, I'm nursing in the mother's room and I see another mom changing her son's diaper-- and it's cloth! I was so impressed I had to say something, but my own shame came back to haunt me. I am a HUGE believer in cloth diapers. In fact, I used them religiously with my first (except disposables at night and on vacations) all the way until she potty-trained at 2.5 years old. (She still wears a Pull-up at night, but that's another story and about to come to an abrupt end if I can handle the repercussions)
Anyway... I had some prefolds that I borrowed from a friend, and they were thin, but too thick to double up all the time, and my second daughter just seemed to pee so much more! She was wetting through 5 times a day and I finally got fed up and just quit. She's been in disposables ever since and I sold the diapers before our move.
I'm determined that if we ever have another baby in our home, I will go buy the holy sh*ttest cloth diapers I can find-- maybe ones with a force field around the baby that does not allow leaks. I will shell out whatever dollars it takes and I will be a cloth-diapering mommy again.
But for now, would somebody please guilt me into switching back to cloth for my toddler? She's 19 months old. If I don't get some help (and a cost-effective solution with a high probability of success) I will continue to beat myself up over my decision to drop cloth.
Anyway... I had some prefolds that I borrowed from a friend, and they were thin, but too thick to double up all the time, and my second daughter just seemed to pee so much more! She was wetting through 5 times a day and I finally got fed up and just quit. She's been in disposables ever since and I sold the diapers before our move.
I'm determined that if we ever have another baby in our home, I will go buy the holy sh*ttest cloth diapers I can find-- maybe ones with a force field around the baby that does not allow leaks. I will shell out whatever dollars it takes and I will be a cloth-diapering mommy again.
But for now, would somebody please guilt me into switching back to cloth for my toddler? She's 19 months old. If I don't get some help (and a cost-effective solution with a high probability of success) I will continue to beat myself up over my decision to drop cloth.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
No baby fever here
So, my friends are getting baby fever. I'm seeing it everywhere, especially with my friends on my online breastfeeding forum. They hold a friend's newborn, and all of the sudden that visceral sort of pull to procreate kicks in. I know it well- I used to get it before I got pregnant the first time. I think I'm cured now.
I have a 3.5 year old and an 18 month old. Maybe it's because I'm still breastfeeding my "baby", so that primal bond is still going strong. Maybe I'm relishing the 8-hr a night sleeps I'm finally getting. Or maybe it's just that I don't want to go through all that "work" again-- growing a baby, morning sickness, labor and birth, initial breastfeeding struggles, engorgement, worrying about my chronic low milk supply issues... Life is good now.
Yesterday my kids and I were playing outside in the yard. My 3 y/o was playing with frogs in the kiddie pool while I made sand castles in the sand and water table with my babe. Something about running my hands over a big, round mountain of sand was reminscent of artistry, but also of running my hands over a big, round belly. It was soothing; I couldn't stop. The sun was shining, the kids were outside and happy, and I was warm and fed and home with my kids during the week. Life couldn't get any better, could it? If another little person came along, would it add to this bliss, or wash it all out to sea?
Luckily I don't have to answer that question right now. My dh (dear husband) would like to have another eventually, but the clock is ticking and I'm in the backyard planning play structures and pools, not fantasizing about a light blue layette. Let's put it this way, only Divine Intervention will force the issue at this point. I think I'll keep it that way for awhile.
I have a 3.5 year old and an 18 month old. Maybe it's because I'm still breastfeeding my "baby", so that primal bond is still going strong. Maybe I'm relishing the 8-hr a night sleeps I'm finally getting. Or maybe it's just that I don't want to go through all that "work" again-- growing a baby, morning sickness, labor and birth, initial breastfeeding struggles, engorgement, worrying about my chronic low milk supply issues... Life is good now.
Yesterday my kids and I were playing outside in the yard. My 3 y/o was playing with frogs in the kiddie pool while I made sand castles in the sand and water table with my babe. Something about running my hands over a big, round mountain of sand was reminscent of artistry, but also of running my hands over a big, round belly. It was soothing; I couldn't stop. The sun was shining, the kids were outside and happy, and I was warm and fed and home with my kids during the week. Life couldn't get any better, could it? If another little person came along, would it add to this bliss, or wash it all out to sea?
Luckily I don't have to answer that question right now. My dh (dear husband) would like to have another eventually, but the clock is ticking and I'm in the backyard planning play structures and pools, not fantasizing about a light blue layette. Let's put it this way, only Divine Intervention will force the issue at this point. I think I'll keep it that way for awhile.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Extended Nursers Unite!
This is my second child I'm nursing (at 18 months), so being that "freaky, militant breastfeeder" is not new to me. It almost feels like a superpower: the ability to calm a frantic toddler by whipping out the secret weapon. What I'm surprised at lately is that I'm finding so many other superheroines around.
In Canada I had 2 friends who nursed kids past two. Here in Florida, I'm now hanging out with a friend who EBFed her son to over a year, and I just reconnected with a long-lost friend from elementary school on Facebook. Guess what? She's nursing and even pumping on business trips for her 15 month old! Girls, I think it's time to think about taking over the world.
But we are, in a way, even without doing anything extra. Toddler nursing, especially when done in public, sends a message to young people that breastfeeding is normal. If kids and teenagers grow up seeing women nursing children, they will be more inclined to do it themselves.
It broke my heart when my 20-year-old cousin got pregnant unexpectedly, chose a scheduled C-section because she was so terrified of labor and birth (another story), and shoved a bottle into her baby's mouth first thing. She never even considered breastfeeding him. Probably thought it was "gross".
So, ladies, keep breastfeeding your kids, and what's more, do it openly! We are superheroes of sorts. By breastfeeding our kids, we can actually save the world by creating children who are healthier in body, mind and spirit, and by encouraging others to do the same. In the words of one of my online breastfeeding buddies: keep breastfeeding, don't be a weaner.
In Canada I had 2 friends who nursed kids past two. Here in Florida, I'm now hanging out with a friend who EBFed her son to over a year, and I just reconnected with a long-lost friend from elementary school on Facebook. Guess what? She's nursing and even pumping on business trips for her 15 month old! Girls, I think it's time to think about taking over the world.
But we are, in a way, even without doing anything extra. Toddler nursing, especially when done in public, sends a message to young people that breastfeeding is normal. If kids and teenagers grow up seeing women nursing children, they will be more inclined to do it themselves.
It broke my heart when my 20-year-old cousin got pregnant unexpectedly, chose a scheduled C-section because she was so terrified of labor and birth (another story), and shoved a bottle into her baby's mouth first thing. She never even considered breastfeeding him. Probably thought it was "gross".
So, ladies, keep breastfeeding your kids, and what's more, do it openly! We are superheroes of sorts. By breastfeeding our kids, we can actually save the world by creating children who are healthier in body, mind and spirit, and by encouraging others to do the same. In the words of one of my online breastfeeding buddies: keep breastfeeding, don't be a weaner.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Change Is Good
Well, I'm back in Florida after 6 years in Canada. This time I brought with me a sunburn-prone, but golf-loving husband (how else do you think I got him here?) and two little girls who tan pretty well and don't like snow just as much as I don't.
There are things I miss about Canada, though. We had some great playgroup friends-- real women who weren't fake, even in their flaws. I miss MC and S, and even "Crazy Lou" of the inappropriate comments and lazy eye. She tried real hard to bond with me.
I also miss the Canadian health care system. I had both my babies at home with the midwives and it was great. Didn't pay a dime. Anytime my kids had an ear infection I ran them right to the doctor. No $35 copay. Now I have to admit I'm a little nervous. If something happens to my husband, my kids or me, will we go broke paying deductibles? Will our insurance company try to get out of paying? I saw Michael Moore's Sicko after all. Still, there is hope. I mean, Obama's on the ticket, isn't he?
So is this a little inflammatory for a first post? Probably. But I figure it's best to get the main cards on the table right away, so here goes:
I support Obama
I'm still breastfeeding my 18 month old
I love midwives
I support attachment parenting (even though I don't practice it 100%)
I'm a wanna be crunchy mom
If any of that stuff doesn't turn you on, you might not be the right audience for this blog. Or you can try to give me heck, but I'm not changing my mind on any of that stuff, no matter how nice Sarah Palin is. (my bf's husband calls the Republicans "evil geniuses". I'm beginning to think he's right.)
So here's my first call out. If you've found this blog, post a comment so I know there's an audience. Lots of good stuff coming, including how to stick it to Dr. Phil (I know, I used to love him, too, but lately...)
Oops! Gotta go-- Diego's over.
There are things I miss about Canada, though. We had some great playgroup friends-- real women who weren't fake, even in their flaws. I miss MC and S, and even "Crazy Lou" of the inappropriate comments and lazy eye. She tried real hard to bond with me.
I also miss the Canadian health care system. I had both my babies at home with the midwives and it was great. Didn't pay a dime. Anytime my kids had an ear infection I ran them right to the doctor. No $35 copay. Now I have to admit I'm a little nervous. If something happens to my husband, my kids or me, will we go broke paying deductibles? Will our insurance company try to get out of paying? I saw Michael Moore's Sicko after all. Still, there is hope. I mean, Obama's on the ticket, isn't he?
So is this a little inflammatory for a first post? Probably. But I figure it's best to get the main cards on the table right away, so here goes:
I support Obama
I'm still breastfeeding my 18 month old
I love midwives
I support attachment parenting (even though I don't practice it 100%)
I'm a wanna be crunchy mom
If any of that stuff doesn't turn you on, you might not be the right audience for this blog. Or you can try to give me heck, but I'm not changing my mind on any of that stuff, no matter how nice Sarah Palin is. (my bf's husband calls the Republicans "evil geniuses". I'm beginning to think he's right.)
So here's my first call out. If you've found this blog, post a comment so I know there's an audience. Lots of good stuff coming, including how to stick it to Dr. Phil (I know, I used to love him, too, but lately...)
Oops! Gotta go-- Diego's over.
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