seeing yourself in your kids

It's so funny how the things you love and hate about yourself are reflected in your kids.

My 20-month-old is like a little me. She's not even 2, and her favorite book is "The Lorax" (which was my favorite book as a kid). She loves the truffula trees and gives them hugs when they are getting chopped down. Yes, folks, my kids is a tree-hugger. I'm so proud.

She's also such a talker. Since my first didn't start talking till 2 1/2, it's astounding to hear the things that come out of this kid's mouth. Lately, when you tell her something she doesn't want to hear (like "no"), she says in a hurt voice, "don't say that!" or in a belligerent voice, "don't talk to me!" How can I not laugh? This kid is going to run the world. Or at least take down a Thneed factory.

My older daugther is very academic (I was as well). She can spell her name and "Dora" as well as a few other words, but she is stubborn as heck (just like guess-who). I am trying to teach her how to write her name, but she is not interested. She does not want to be taught anything new, she just wants to show off the various things she has already mastered. What kind of a way to live is that?

I think she might be a little bit of a perfectionist-- only wanting to do things she's successful at. That's not so much me, but I do remember HATING to be forced into doing things that did not come naturally. For example, I remember sitting at the table in a booster seat, pouting because my parents wanted me to say "may I be excused" before leaving the table. I just didn't like the sound of it. So proper and contrived. I refused to say it, so I sat and sat.

In the same way, Kira does not like to be told what to do. And she does not like to fail. So if she tries to write her name and can't do it on the first try, she'd rather not do it at all. I'm not so bad as that, but I must admit, if there are things that I really suck at, rather than practice, practice, practice to improve, I'm more likely to go do something I am good at-- like Facebook Scramble or lefthanded cartwheels or checking my email.

While it's gratifying to see your kids taking after you, it's also a bit of a downer because you want your kids to do better than you. If they suffer from your same hang-ups, they may disappoint themselves, the way we have probably disappointed ourselves.