No baby fever here

So, my friends are getting baby fever. I'm seeing it everywhere, especially with my friends on my online breastfeeding forum. They hold a friend's newborn, and all of the sudden that visceral sort of pull to procreate kicks in. I know it well- I used to get it before I got pregnant the first time. I think I'm cured now.

I have a 3.5 year old and an 18 month old. Maybe it's because I'm still breastfeeding my "baby", so that primal bond is still going strong. Maybe I'm relishing the 8-hr a night sleeps I'm finally getting. Or maybe it's just that I don't want to go through all that "work" again-- growing a baby, morning sickness, labor and birth, initial breastfeeding struggles, engorgement, worrying about my chronic low milk supply issues... Life is good now.

Yesterday my kids and I were playing outside in the yard. My 3 y/o was playing with frogs in the kiddie pool while I made sand castles in the sand and water table with my babe. Something about running my hands over a big, round mountain of sand was reminscent of artistry, but also of running my hands over a big, round belly. It was soothing; I couldn't stop. The sun was shining, the kids were outside and happy, and I was warm and fed and home with my kids during the week. Life couldn't get any better, could it? If another little person came along, would it add to this bliss, or wash it all out to sea?

Luckily I don't have to answer that question right now. My dh (dear husband) would like to have another eventually, but the clock is ticking and I'm in the backyard planning play structures and pools, not fantasizing about a light blue layette. Let's put it this way, only Divine Intervention will force the issue at this point. I think I'll keep it that way for awhile.